Lucy Hone’s TED talk, “The three secrets of resilient people,” is powerful and personal. It shares the strategies that got her through an unimaginable tragedy and offers profound insights.
Lucy experienced a tragedy that no parent should ever have to face – the unimaginable loss of her beloved daughter in a devastating car crash. Her grief is palpable throughout the talk, yet her courage and determination to share her resilience journey have a lasting impact.
Resilience is about having the courage to confront our fears and the strength to keep going despite them.
1. Shit happens!
Acknowledge that suffering is part of life. Life is filled with highs and lows, successes and failures, joys and sorrows. Facing up to the realities of life is an essential part of building resilience as it will help you be better prepared for the inevitable ups and downs that await.
“Terrible things happen to you, just like they do everybody else. That’s your life now, time to sink or swim. The real tragedy is that not enough of us seem to know this any longer. We seem to live in an age where we’re entitled to a perfect life, where shiny, happy photos on Instagram are the norm, when actually, as demonstrated at the start of this talk, the very opposite is true.”
2. Hunt the good stuff!
Focus on what you can control, and accept that there are things you cannot change. Find things to be grateful for. This includes not worrying about things out of your control, focusing on the present moment and taking action with what you can do.
“One day, when doubts were threatening to overwhelm me, I distinctly remember thinking, “No, you do not get to get swallowed up by this. You have to survive. You’ve got so much to live for. Choose life, not death. Don’t lose what you have to what you have lost.”
3. Is what I am doing helping or harming me?
It’s important to stop and ask yourself whether your choices are helping or harming you. When it comes to difficult situations, such as family feuds, raging political debates, or your own health, take a step back and recognize if your actions benefit your well-being.
“Whether it is forgiving family ancient transgressions, arguments from Christmases past, or whether it is just trolling through social media, whether it is asking yourself whether you really need that extra glass of wine. Asking yourself whether what you’re doing, the way you’re thinking, the way you’re acting is helping or harming you puts you back in the driver’s seat.”
In her TED talk, Lucy Hone shares three simple strategies available to everyone, anytime and anywhere. They don’t require any special skills or knowledge. Resilience is not a fixed trait that some people have and others don’t. All you need is a willingness to give them a try.