Sleep divorce: How sleeping separately could save your marriage

Sharing a bed, fighting over covers, waking up to snoring – it’s long been seen as an unavoidable part of committed relationships. But more couples are realizing that a good night’s sleep and a good partnership don’t have to be at odds. Sleeping separately doesn’t signal the end of intimacy, it marks the beginning of approaching your relationship in a way that works for you, societal expectations be damned.

Is your partner keeping you up at night? Are you both chronically sleep-deprived and irritable with each other as a result? It may be time to consider a “sleep divorce.”

A sleep divorce is when a couple decides to sleep apart, either in separate beds or separate rooms, to get better quality sleep. And it’s becoming an increasingly popular option.

Many couples suffer through years of disrupted sleep and simmering resentment over their partner’s nighttime habits before even considering sleeping apart. They worry it signals the end of intimacy in their relationship. But sleeping separately could improve your relationship in several key ways:

Sleeping separately isn’t right for every couple. It requires being on the same page about the intention behind it and maintaining a strong intimate connection in other ways. Good communication is key.

You’ll also want to consider the logistics, like whether you have the space for separate beds or how to explain it to the kids. Even just committing to a trial period can help you determine if it improves your sleep and your relationship.

Sleeping apart doesn’t doom your relationship, despite the stigma. For many couples, it’s an act of practicality and partnership that prioritizes each person getting their needs met. And well-rested, fulfilled partners are the foundation of a healthy marriage.

So if you spend more time battling over the covers than enjoying your time together in bed, a sleep divorce may be just what the relationship therapist ordered. Protect your sleep, and you protect your relationship as well.