Early in my marriage, conversations with my spouse often left me feeling resentful and unappreciated. I couldn’t understand why my partner wasn’t meeting my needs despite my constant reminders of what I wanted. Sound familiar? It took me years to realize I was going about it all wrong. I wasn’t expressing my needs effectively. Demanding… Read More »Make requests, not demands
Two years into my marriage, the honeymoon phase ended with a silent, sudden crash. Suddenly, everything that was once endearing about my husband now got on my last nerve. Leaving dirty socks on the floor, forgetting to take out the trash, chewing too loudly – each tiny irritation compounded until I found myself wondering, “What… Read More »Choose to love your partner (in hard times)
We’ve all been there – a friend calls in tears, a family member shares devastating news, a coworker breaks down in the office. In those heart-wrenching moments, it’s painfully clear: you can’t fix their anguish with a snap of your fingers. The hurt is real and raw. Advice and solutions, however well-intentioned, often ring hollow.… Read More »7 phrases to comfort someone in crisis
For most of my life, I thought arguing was about proving I was right. I’d latch onto my viewpoint with a death grip, using every rhetorical trick to defend it. Evidence that contradicted my stance? Brushed aside. Holes in my logic? Hastily patched. The other person’s perspective? Dismissed with a wave. I argued to win,… Read More »How to argue using the RISA framework
We’ve all been there. Your partner loads the dishwasher in a way that makes your eye twitch. Your coworker submits a report riddled with errors. Your friend shows up late to your lunch date again. Minor annoyances, but they grate on you. You know you need to say something, but you dread it. So you… Read More »The compliment sandwhich for better feedback in relationships
Want a stronger, closer relationship with your partner? The secret lies in how you respond to their bids for emotional connection. What is a bid? Bids are the small ways we reach out to our partner throughout the day, seeking attention, affection, or acknowledgement. It’s any small expression that says, “I want to connect with… Read More »Responding to your partner’s bids
Sharing a bed, fighting over covers, waking up to snoring – it’s long been seen as an unavoidable part of committed relationships. But more couples are realizing that a good night’s sleep and a good partnership don’t have to be at odds. Sleeping separately doesn’t signal the end of intimacy, it marks the beginning of… Read More »Sleep divorce: How sleeping separately could save your marriage
We all want relationships that can go the distance. But when bills, kids, and busy schedules conspire against us, how do we stop our connection from crumbling under the pressure? Enter the 2-2-2 rule – a beautifully simple way for couples to put each other first. No, it’s not about rigid date night quotas or… Read More »The 2-2-2 rule: Your secret to a thriving long-term relationship
Creating love that lasts While communication, shared values and commitment play important roles in creating enduring love in a romantic relationship, research reveals a surprising key to long-lasting romance. In a meta-survey (2005) analyzing 470 studies on compatibility, Marcel Zentner, PhD, from the University of Geneva, found that there are no common character qualities that… Read More »Practice Positive Partner Perception
Truly listening to others has become a rare and valuable skill. Many of us fall into the trap of letting our minds wander during conversations, missing out on important information and failing to make genuine connections. By learning to listen actively and intentionally, we can transform our relationships and become more effective communicators. The key… Read More »The Assist-to-Steal ratio in conversations
