For years, I failed the circle of hell test without even knowing it existed. I’d see someone hovering at the edge of a conversation, clearly wanting to join, and I’d do nothing. I’d continue talking, pretending not to notice their awkward half-smile and shifting weight. I told myself pulling strangers into our group chat wasn’t… Read More »The circle of hell test
Today, I watched my daughter fight a dragon. She sat cross-legged on our porch swing, book propped open, completely still except for her eyes and the occasional flick of a page. Yet everything in her body language, the tension in her shoulders, the slight lean forward, the barely audible gasp, told me she was somewhere… Read More »Read fiction to improve your social skills
Scientists who study couples in conflict labs have noticed something strange: partners rarely fight about what they think they’re fighting about. That argument that starts with “You never take out the trash” or “Why didn’t you call me back?” almost never ends there. Within minutes, couples spiral into accusations about respect, care, and whether they… Read More »The 90-10 Rule of Conflict
I stood in the middle of Mark’s massive penthouse, staring out at the skyline through floor-to-ceiling windows. Everything around me screamed success. Expensive art on the walls, designer furniture, and a kitchen that would make a professional chef jealous. “Pretty amazing place you’ve got here,” I said, accepting the glass of wine he handed me.… Read More »Make connecting a habit
What’s the secret to a happy, lasting relationship? Some say it’s compatibility and having common values, goals and interests to bond over. Others claim the key is physical chemistry and passion. Still others emphasize acts of service, gift-giving, or quality time. While all those factors matter, there’s a foundational element that often gets overlooked: Good… Read More »The 20-minute connection ritual every couple needs
We’ve all been there. The knot in your stomach as you wait for a meeting you know will be unpleasant. The racing heart and sweaty palms as you try to find the right words. The sinking feeling as a conversation goes off the rails despite your best efforts. Difficult conversations are unavoidable, but for most… Read More »How to do difficult conversations
My default mode when friends or family share their struggles has always been to fix things. I’m a problem-solver by nature, so my mind immediately starts analyzing the situation and generating solutions. But over the years, this approach created friction in my relationships. I’d offer suggestions and insights, only to be met with resistance or… Read More »Do you want to be helped, heard or hugged?
You know that sinking feeling when a conversation with your partner veers into the “You always…” zone? Maybe you’re dishing those statements out yourself, watching your loved one’s face fall with each accusation. I’ve been on both sides of that interaction. And let me tell you, it never ends well. I certainly made my share… Read More »Use “I feel” statements for better relationships
Our relationships are scattered across countless digital albums and social media memories. But those frozen moments hold the key to deepening our real-life connections. When we treat our photo collections as a gateway to conversation rather than a graveyard of the past, they become a tool for keeping our bonds vibrant and alive. Our cameras… Read More »Use your photos to reconnect with your loved ones
Early in my marriage, conversations with my spouse often left me feeling resentful and unappreciated. I couldn’t understand why my partner wasn’t meeting my needs despite my constant reminders of what I wanted. Sound familiar? It took me years to realize I was going about it all wrong. I wasn’t expressing my needs effectively. Demanding… Read More »Make requests, not demands
