Do you ever lie awake at night, staring at the ceiling, pondering the purpose of everything? What am I doing with my life? What is the meaning of, well, life itself?
If so, congratulations! You’re human.
John W. Gardner, a renowned public thinker, spoke about the universal human struggle for meaning in a moving speech towards the end of his impactful career. His words about finding meaning in life took on a heartbreaking significance when he received a letter from a father mourning the loss of his daughter.
The father’s 20-year-old daughter had tragically died in a car accident, and when her belongings were returned to the family, they discovered she had been carrying a paragraph from one of Gardner’s speeches in her wallet. The father reached out to Gardner to express his gratitude, as the treasured excerpt provided insight into his daughter’s values and the meaning she had been building in her young life.
The paragraph that resonated with her reads:
Meaning is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life. You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties, out of the experience of humankind as it is passed on to you, out of your own talent and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something. The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can put them together into that unique pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. If it does, then the particular balance of success or failure is of less account.
Gardner’s speech suggests that meaning is not a thing waiting for us to stumble upon but rather a lifelong project we must undertake. Our experiences, relationships, skills, beliefs, and passions are the “ingredients” we must use to create a coherent sense of meaning and purpose.
This young woman’s deep connection with Gardner’s words suggests she was well on her way to building a meaningful life, even at her young age. Her sudden death serves as a reminder that we should not delay the crucial work of defining and pursuing what gives our lives meaning.
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