Master Memoir Writing with the 10-10-10 System

I’ve always been a storyteller at heart. As a child, I would regale my family with elaborate tales of my adventures, both real and imagined. As I grew older, the urge to share my stories only intensified. I knew I had a memoir in me waiting to be written.

But every time I attempted to put pen to paper, I found myself overwhelmed by the sheer volume of my life’s experiences. How could I distil decades of memories into a single, powerful narrative?

How to plot your life story

Your life brims with one-of-a-kind experiences, insights, and emotions. But distilling those personal memories into an engaging memoir can feel daunting. The 10-10-10 system, developed by acclaimed “Hollywood script doctor” John Truby, provides a clear roadmap to structure your unique story.

The 10-10-10 approach revolves around three core components:

10 defining events that changed your life trajectory
10 influential characters who shaped your journey
10 profound insights you learned along the way

Step 1. Gather the material and do your research

Round up raw materials like old journals and diaries, calendar entries, photographs, letters, travel notes, and interviews with loved ones – anything that triggers memories.

Step 2. Choose 10 defining events

Select events that moved your life in a new direction, evoked intense emotions, or prompted important decisions or realizations. Condense each memory into a single, vivid sentence.

Examples:

“I won my first chess tournament at age 12, sparking my lifelong passion for the game.”
“The day I met my future spouse, I knew my life would never be the same.”
“After losing my job, I decided to pursue my dream of starting my own business.”
“My grandfather took me out fishing, and I discovered a passion I never knew I had.”

Achieved a goal, adopted a child, adopted a pet, began a hobby, birth of a child, breakups, disappointment, divorce or separation, engagement, epic experience, facing a fear, family disagreements, family reunion, first apartment, first love, forgiveness, gave up on a goal, getting out of the hospital, going home, illness or injury, incarceration, investment gains or losses, joined a group or community, life decisions lifestyle change, loss of a home, lost a loved one, lost a pet, major decisions, met future spouse, met a friend, moment of wonder, moments of bravery, moved, overcoming a problem, pregnancy, quit a bad habit, realized something, reconciliation, redemption, rekindling a friendship, transformative experience, travel. won a competition or got an award, experiences.

Step 3: Choose 10 influential characters

Who had the most profound impact during your life? Family members, friends, teachers, mentors, and even enemies and rivals. Jot down their distinctive qualities and how they influenced you.

Examples:

“My grandfather, a war veteran, taught me the value of perseverance and integrity.”
“My high school drama teacher saw my potential and cast me in the lead role, boosting my confidence.”
“My business partner challenged me to think bigger and take calculated risks.”

When describing your key characters, focus on their most distinctive traits: the quirky habits, signature phrases, and fundamental values that defined them. Illustrate how each person shaped your journey in specific, meaningful ways.

Step 4: Choose 10 profound insights

What profound truths did you discover about yourself and the world?

Examples:

“I learned that failure is not the opposite of success, but a stepping stone towards it.”
“Traveling solo taught me to embrace my independence and trust my instincts.”
“Becoming a parent made me realize that unconditional love has the power to conquer any obstacle.”

The lessons you learned, the tough choices you faced, and the eye-opening realizations that reshaped your understanding of yourself and the world around you. These revelations infuse your memoir with depth and meaning, transforming your personal story into a thought-provoking exploration of the human experience.

Step 5: Construct your life map

With your 10-10-10 elements in hand, create a visual representation of your life story. Arrange the events in a purposeful sequence, then interweave characters and revelations. Structure your narrative around themes, places, relationships, or other unifying threads.

Examples:

Theme: “Overcoming adversity” – Group together events where you triumphed over challenges.
Location: “My hometown” – Organize your story around significant places from your upbringing.
Relationship: “My lifelong friendship” – Trace the evolution of a relationship over time.

As you examine your life timeline, search for patterns of positive and negative experiences and discern the overarching themes and emotions that surface time and again.

Step 6: Uncover your central message

As you survey your life map, recurring motifs and emotions will surface. Allow these to illuminate the deeper truth your story yearns to convey.

Examples:

“Resilience and determination can help you weather any storm.”
“Embracing your authentic self is the key to true happiness and fulfilment.”
“Small acts of kindness can create a ripple effect that changes lives.”

By viewing your experiences through the 10-10-10 prism, you excavate the defining moments and revelations that forged your identity. You alchemize a lifetime of memories into a powerful narrative that resonates on a universal level.

Memoir writing tips

Here are some tips to make the most of the 10-10-10 memoir writing system:

Don’t censor yourself when selecting your 10 key events, characters, and insights. Choose the moments, people, and realizations that truly shaped you, even if they feel uncomfortable to share.
Use sensory details to bring your key events to life. Describe sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures to immerse readers in your experiences.
When identifying your 10 important characters, focus on their essences – the qualities that make them unforgettable. A few well-chosen details can paint a vivid picture.
As you unearth your 10 major insights, look for universal truths. While your experiences are unique, the lessons you’ve learned likely resonate with others.
Don’t get hung up on writing your memoir in order. Feel free to tackle the sections that speak to you most strongly first. You can always rearrange it later.
Remember that your memoir is about more than just you. As you write, consider what your story offers to others – inspiration, cautionary tales, humour, and hope.
Your unique perspective is what will make your memoir unforgettable. Write with authenticity and heart.

The 10-10-10 memoir system empowers you to derive meaning from your past and share your incomparable story with the world. So immerse yourself in your story, uncover the hidden connections, and craft a memoir that encapsulates the very essence of your remarkable life journey.

The 10-10-10 Memoir Writing System

How to plot your life story