My grandfather told me the secret to his 62-year marriage the other day.
I’d always wondered how two people could stay together that long. My own relationships rarely lasted beyond a few months, and my parents split after fifteen years. So when my grandfather motioned me closer, I leaned in expecting profound wisdom.
“Want to know why I am still in love with your grandmother?” he whispered. “She still laughs at my bad jokes, and we never stopped being friends.”
His simple words rang true. I had spent my entire dating life treating relationships like a performance, trying to impress, seduce, and win people over.
How to get lasting love
Finding true love isn’t just about luck. It takes work, growth, and knowing what matters. While songs and books tell us love conquers all, real relationships need more than that warm feeling to last.
What makes a relationship truly great? Let’s look at proven tips from people who found lasting love on Reddit.
1. Be your best self first
Who you attract shows what you value. Being emotionally healthy draws in the right person.
“If you are emotionally healthy, you will attract the right person. Do not go into a relationship thinking it will magically fix anything.”
Advice from Reddit users:
When you bring your best self to a relationship, you set the stage for something amazing.
2. Talk about everything
No relationship exists without problems. The way you handle those problems makes all the difference.
“Always remember it’s both of you VS the problem, it’s not you vs them.”
Communication rules that work:
When you both discuss issues openly, you build trust that lasts.
3. Keep dating forever
The passion from your early days doesn’t have to fade. Research indicates that play and laughter foster emotional connections, alleviate stress and enhance intimacy.
“Don’t stop ‘dating’ your partner no matter how long you’ve been together!”
Ways to keep romance alive according to Reddit users:
These small acts keep your connection strong year after year.
4. Draw healthy boundaries
Having your own life outside the relationship makes you a better partner. When you maintain independence, you bring more to the table.
“The biggest secret I’ve found is that each partner needs to have a life outside the relationship.”
Other boundaries advice:
This balance between togetherness and independence keeps relationships fresh.
5. Match your big goals
No amount of great communication fixes basic incompatibility on major life goals.
“Make sure you are on the same page about the big issues. And by the big issues, I mean core values: religious views, political views, how many kids you want, the kind of life you want to live.”
Key areas to agree on according to Reddit users:
When you agree on these big things, daily decisions become much easier.
6. Build on friendship
The strongest relationships start with true friendship. When you genuinely like your partner as a person, love grows deeper.
“Your relationship is a friendship at its core. Treat it as such and you will see things as they are.”
Friendship-building habits from Reddit users:
This foundation of friendship carries you through tough times.
7. Accept change together
People change over time. Your views, goals, and needs will shift throughout your life—and so will your partner’s.
“Remember that change is inevitable. How you handle these changes determines whether your relationship thrives or fails.”
How to grow together according to Reddit users:
The best relationships adapt and grow stronger through life’s changes.
Final thoughts
Building the best relationship takes work from both people. It starts with being emotionally healthy yourself, talking openly, keeping romance alive, maintaining independence, sharing major goals, building friendship, and growing together.
These steps won’t guarantee perfection. Perfect relationships don’t exist. But they give you the tools to build something that lasts through good times and bad.
When you both commit to these principles, you create more than just a good relationship. You build something truly extraordinary.
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