Happiness. That deceptively simple word has launched a thousand ships and sold a million self-help books. We’ve meditated with monks, self-helped with gurus, popped pills, and chased thrills – all in the desperate hope of finding happiness. We all want it, but can anyone truly define it? Is it a destination we arrive at after a long journey of personal growth or a fleeting feeling as fragile as a soap bubble? Some say it comes from within, others that it depends on our external circumstances. But maybe, just maybe, happiness is a choice we make in each moment.
It’s not about having everything you want but wanting everything you have.
Introduction
For centuries, humans have wondered about happiness. From ancient philosophers to modern psychologists, we’ve asked: What is this feeling we want so much? Is it a place we can get to or a feeling that comes and goes? Is there a universal key to happiness, or is it different for everyone?
These questions have echoed through time and across cultures. Wanting to be happy unites us all. We all want to find the secret to this golden feeling.
But when we look closer at happiness, we see it’s complex and even paradoxical.
1. What is happiness?
Happiness is the point of life, the whole aim of being human. Aristotle
To go after happiness, we need to agree on what we’re chasing. But pinning down happiness is like catching a butterfly – it changes shape the moment we think we have it.
Some see happiness as a feeling – joy, contentment, and warmth spreading through you like hot cocoa on a cold day. It’s a kid unwrapping a present, pride in a job done right, comfort in a hug from someone you love.
Others think happiness is a way of being – resilience, gratitude, calm. It’s a monk meditating, quiet self-worth, finding hope in dark times.
Some say happiness is a choice – something we make by how we think and act. Happiness comes from inside us, not outside.
But others see happiness as a side effect – what happens when we live with meaning, goodness, and connection. Aristotle saw happiness not as a feeling but as the greatest human good – living excellently and reasonably.
Modern research supports parts of all these views. Positive psychology, the science of a life worth living, has found key parts of happiness:
So maybe happiness is all these and more – a mix of feelings, experiences, choices, and thoughts that add up to a good life. As researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky puts it, happiness is “joy, contentment, and well-being, with a sense that your life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”
But even with this broad meaning, happiness stays a bit mysterious – easier to feel than to explain. We know it when we feel it, but it’s hard to capture in words. Which leads to our next question: If happiness is so slippery, how do we find it?
2. Searching for happiness
You’ll never be happy if you keep searching for happiness. You’ll never really live if you’re looking for life’s meaning. Albert Camus
Humans have always searched for happiness. Ancient Egyptians thought it came from living by the goddess Ma’at’s rules. Buddhists believe it comes from letting go of wanting. Every culture has ideas for finding this treasured state.
In the West, pursuing happiness is even called a basic right in the U.S. Declaration of Independence. The American Dream itself is built on the idea that anyone can make a happy, successful life by working hard.
But as Camus boldly suggests, maybe searching for happiness keeps us from finding it. Like a mirage, the closer we think we are to catching happiness, the more it seems to slip away.
This is the “hedonic treadmill” – how we tend to go back to a set level of happiness even after big highs or lows. We think that promotion, house, or soulmate will make us happy for good. But the first rush of joy fades, and we end up right back where we started, chasing the next big thing.
Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert explains, “The hedonic treadmill is a huge block to happiness. We work so hard for our dreams, expecting they’ll make us happy. But when we get what we want, we adjust, and our happiness goes back to before.”
So, if chasing happiness doesn’t work, what does? Many thinkers say the key is to focus not on happiness itself but on living with meaning and purpose.
Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl wrote in “Man’s Search for Meaning” that “happiness can’t be chased; it has to follow.” Happiness is a side effect of a well-lived life, not the goal.
Frankl believed we find life’s meaning through work (doing something important), love (caring for others), and courage in hard times. He said we naturally feel fulfilled by giving ourselves to these things.
Other research agrees that eudaimonic happiness – the kind from living with goodness and meaning – is more rewarding and lasts longer than hedonic happiness – short-lived pleasures like food, sex, and “things we don’t need to be purchased with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.”
A University of Rochester study found people with “intrinsic” goals – personal growth, relationships, community – were happier and more satisfied than those with “extrinsic” goals like money, fame, and looks. Lead researcher Edward Deci said:
What makes your life meaningful makes you happy. Edward Deci
But living meaningfully is easier said than done in a distracting world with competing values. We’re often torn between wants and shoulds, quick desires and long-term aims.
So the real test may not be finding happiness but choosing it – again and again, despite all that pulls us from our true north.
This doesn’t mean we can just “choose” happiness when facing trauma, hardship, or mental illness. But day to day, many of us have more power over our happiness than we think. We can choose gratitude over resentment, kindness over apathy, bravery over comfort.
Of course, making those choices isn’t always easy. It takes self-awareness, willpower, and the courage to leave our comfort zones.
3. The science of happiness
The science of happiness comes from how our brains and bodies respond to the world around us. Dr. Richard Davidson
Happiness studies have moved from philosophy and self-help books to strict scientific studies in recent decades. Advances in brain science, psychology, and related fields have given us new insight into the biological and environmental pieces of our well-being.
A key finding is that a lot of our happiness is in our genes. Twin studies have found that up to 50% of the difference in people’s happiness levels comes from genetic factors.
But this doesn’t mean our happiness level is fixed or fated. As Dr. Richard Davidson, a leader in emotion neuroscience, explains, “The science of happiness lies in understanding how our brains and bodies react to the world around us. While genes may make us tend to some happiness levels, our experiences and actions critically shape our neural paths and ultimately our well-being.”
Davidson’s research has shown that happy and unhappy people’s brains are physically different. Using MRI scans, his team has found several brain areas that are more active in very happy people, like the prefrontal cortex (tied to positive feelings and resilience) and the nucleus accumbens (tied to reward and motivation).
Importantly, Davidson has also found that we can literally change our brains – and boost our happiness – through certain practices and habits. His work suggests that regular meditation, for example, can boost prefrontal cortex activity and strengthen our ability to feel joy and calm.
Other research has pinpointed more “happiness habits” that can measurably impact our well-being. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a top positive psychology researcher, has found that up to 40% of our happiness is in our control – shaped by our purposeful activities and attitudes.
In “The How of Happiness,” Lyubomirsky lists 12 science-backed practices for boosting happiness, including showing gratitude, cultivating optimism, doing kind acts, savouring life’s joys, committing to goals, caring for your body, and nurturing relationships.
Studies have found that people who regularly write down things they’re thankful for feel happier and healthier and even sleep better. One well-known study asked people to write five things they were grateful for once a week for 10 weeks. In the end, these people were 25% happier than the group who didn’t do the gratitude practice.
Positive psychology research has also shown how important social ties are for our happiness and health. Strong, supportive relationships with family, friends, and community have consistently been linked with greater life satisfaction, better health, and even longer lives.
A huge Harvard study followed 724 men for over 75 years, tracking their physical and mental health. The clearest message from this impressive data?
Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.
The people most satisfied with their relationships at 50 were healthiest (and happiest) at 80.
But relationships don’t just make us feel good – they change our biology. Research shows that positive social interactions can raise oxytocin (the “cuddle hormone”), cut stress and inflammation, and even strengthen immunity.
Of course, no amount of gratitude journaling or hanging out can fully shield us from life’s challenges. We all face problems, losses, and pain that can knock us off balance and sink us into despair.
But happiness science suggests we aren’t helpless against these struggles. By growing specific skills and mindsets – resilience, self-compassion, mindfulness, meaning-making – we can face the ups and downs with more grace and even find growth in hardship.
As psychologist and Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl wrote, “When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Happiness science gives us tools to do just that – to shift our inner worlds even when we can’t control the outer.
Ultimately, happiness research confirms what many sages and spiritual teachers have long sensed – that true, lasting joy comes not from chasing pleasure or avoiding pain, but from living with purpose, connection, and growth.
4. Happiness’s dark side
There is no happiness or misery in the world; only comparisons, nothing more. Alexandre Dumas
Chasing happiness isn’t always purely positive. Our culture’s happiness obsession can sometimes lead us wrong, making us deny or repress important parts of the human experience.
In “The Happiness Myth,” historian Jennifer Michael Hecht argues that our modern idea of happiness is quite different from how it was seen for most of history. For ancient thinkers like Aristotle and the Stoics, happiness wasn’t about always feeling good but about living with virtue and meaning.
The idea that we should try for constant positive emotions is pretty recent, fueled partly by consumerism and self-help movements. This “positivity tyranny” can have unintended downsides.
For one, it can make us feel like failures when we inevitably feel sad, angry, or scared. We may feel pressure to “snap out of it” or “look on the bright side,” rather than letting ourselves fully feel and process these tough emotions.
However, research shows that suppressing or denying negative feelings can make them stronger and more stubborn. A University of Toronto study found that people who tried to push away bad thoughts ended up dwelling on them more.
Moreover, some experts argue that our happiness fixation can lead to emotional numbness or shallowness. By chasing the next high, we may lose touch with the deeper, more nuanced parts of our inner worlds.
As author and meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg puts it:
Happiness isn’t getting what we want all the time; it’s the ability to find peace with what we have, even amidst difficulty or discomfort. Sharon Salzberg
This isn’t to say we should wallow in misery or avoid joy. But maybe true happiness needs us to accept the full range of human feelings – light and dark, ecstatic and agonizing.
Some research suggests that facing and overcoming hardship can boost our happiness and resilience in the long run. A study of people who had suffered major traumas – crashes, assaults – found that many ended up reporting greater appreciation for life, stronger relationships, and deeper meaning because of their suffering.
As Friedrich Nietzsche famously said, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” Of course, not all pain leads to gain, and we shouldn’t glorify or seek trauma. But post-traumatic growth science suggests that even our darkest times can sometimes spark positive change.
Maybe the key to happiness isn’t to avoid or end suffering but to find meaning and purpose within it. To quote Viktor Frankl again, “Suffering stops being suffering when it finds a meaning.”
This isn’t easy, and it looks different for everyone. For some, it may mean turning to spirituality; for others, it means making art, helping people, or fighting for a cause. But the thread is a willingness to face life’s trials head-on, to wrest meaning from even the most senseless circumstances.
Happiness’s dark side reminds us that life isn’t always easy or fair. Pain and loss are inescapable parts of being human. But it also suggests that true happiness comes not from dodging these experiences but from learning to dance with them – to find grace, beauty, and even joy amidst the battle.
As the poet Rumi wrote, “The wound is where the light enters you.” By embracing our wounds – our flaws, failures, and heartbreaks, we open ourselves to a deeper, truer kind of happiness. One is not tied to circumstances but to one’s own inner resilience and love.
5. Happiness’s future
The best way to predict the future is to create it. Peter Drucker
In many ways, the coming decades promise a golden age for happiness research and practice. Advances in brain science, genetics, and data give us unprecedented insight into the human mind and what drives well-being.
Science is identifying the brain areas and chemicals linked to emotions with growing accuracy. This work may inspire more precise treatments for mental health problems like depression and anxiety. It could also lead to approaches for increasing positive feelings and resilience.
Genetic studies are revealing how specific genes affect happiness. The genetic influence on happiness is multifaceted, involving many genes. However, scientists have found some key genes, like 5-HTTLPR and MAOA, that appear to shape our emotional tendencies.
As we learn more about the genetics of happiness, we could create personalized well-being plans based on someone’s genetic makeup. This presents ethical dilemmas around how this information is used that demand careful consideration.
Technology will become increasingly important for happiness. Mood-tracking apps, VR therapies, social robots and AI coaches are some of the emerging tools to help monitor and improve emotional health.
Some predict we’ll see “happiness tech” – wearables or implants that directly activate the brain’s reward centres. The idea of bliss on demand sounds great, but it also brings up troubling issues around authenticity, addiction, and what happiness really means.
The most exciting area in happiness research may be the growing awareness of its social aspects. Many past studies focused on individual elements like genetics, personality and habits. But more and more evidence shows our happiness is closely tied to the well-being of those around us.
Happiness spreads through social networks. A famous Harvard and UCSD study discovered an individual’s happiness boosts the odds of their friends becoming happier by 25% if they live within a mile. This ripples out to impact friends of friends of friends.
Investing in others’ happiness through kindness and compassion could be one of the most powerful ways to increase our well-being. The Dalai Lama says if you want to be happy, practice compassion – and if you want others to be happy, do the same.
Some experts support a society-wide approach to wellbeing. They say we must establish the social, economic and environmental foundations for happiness to flourish, not just rely on individual solutions.
This could mean initiatives like universal basic income to reduce money stress and free people to find meaningful work and relationships. It could involve tackling loneliness and isolation, now seen as major health risks. Or it might mean more green spaces and walkable cities, which have been proven to boost happiness.
Building a happier society means wrestling with tricky problems like inequality and clashing values. But the evolving science of happiness shows our personal well-being is completely bound up with the health of the bigger systems around us.
Expanding our circle of care may uncover a deeper, lasting form of happiness based not on fleeting good feelings but on making a world where all can thrive.
Poet Alice Walker wrote that happiness is getting easier as we find more ways to share joy and laughter. She believes we’ll reach a level of happiness so high and common that misery vanishes from Earth.
I hope she’s right. And I hope we all help speed up that day.
Bottom line
Some parts of happiness are outside our control, but many aren’t. We can reprogram our minds and behaviours through gratitude, kindness, mindfulness and purpose to increase well-being.
Happiness isn’t a solo endeavour. Our joy is deeply connected to the joy of those around us. Working for a more caring and just world creates the conditions for everyone to flourish.
Seeking happiness is a constant process, not an endpoint.
This isn’t easy. It means confronting our fears and attachments. But it clears the way for authentic, resilient happiness within us.
The secret to happiness may not be a single method, but the bravery to stay open to all of life – the beautiful and painful alike.
In doing so, we see happiness as a gift to recognize and tend, not a prize to chase.
Happiness heard your name, and she has been running through the streets trying to find you. Poet Hafiz
May you let yourself be found.
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