Last Tuesday, I ran into Lucy at the coffee shop, whom I hadn’t seen in months. She lit up when I asked how her pottery classes were going. “You remembered!” she said, beaming. That moment made me realise something I’d been doing unconsciously for years. While most people default to “How’s it going?” in conversations,… Läs mer om "Make people feel valued with little memories
Across the room stood Martin, a guy from accounting whom everyone crowded around. Martin, who wore mismatched socks and laughed too loudly at his own jokes. Martin, who somehow knew everyone’s name and had them all smiling. What did he have that I didn’t? I started studying him and others like him. People who seemed… Läs mer om "The 30-Second Rule to Win Every Conversation
I once watched my six-year-old nephew have a complete meltdown over a broken toy car. His parents tried everything: they offered to buy him a new one, attempted to distract him with other toys, and even explained how the wheel could be glued back on. Nothing worked. Then his grandmother sat down beside him, looked… Läs mer om "How to make someone feel seen and heard
I åratal misslyckades jag med helvetescirkeltestet utan att ens veta att det existerade. Jag såg någon som svävade i utkanten av en konversation och tydligt ville ansluta sig, och jag gjorde ingenting. Jag fortsatte att prata och låtsades att jag inte märkte deras tafatta halvleende och viktförskjutning. Jag intalade mig själv att det inte var bra att dra in främlingar i vår gruppchatt... Läs mer om "Test av helvetets cirkel
We’ve all been there. The knot in your stomach as you wait for a meeting you know will be unpleasant. The racing heart and sweaty palms as you try to find the right words. The sinking feeling as a conversation goes off the rails despite your best efforts. Difficult conversations are unavoidable, but for most… Läs mer om "Hur man för svåra samtal
You know that sinking feeling when a conversation with your partner veers into the “You always…” zone? Maybe you’re dishing those statements out yourself, watching your loved one’s face fall with each accusation. I’ve been on both sides of that interaction. And let me tell you, it never ends well. I certainly made my share… Läs mer om "Använd "jag känner"-uttalanden för bättre relationer
For most of my life, I thought arguing was about proving I was right. I’d latch onto my viewpoint with a death grip, using every rhetorical trick to defend it. Evidence that contradicted my stance? Brushed aside. Holes in my logic? Hastily patched. The other person’s perspective? Dismissed with a wave. I argued to win,… Läs mer om "How to argue using the RISA framework
Truly listening to others has become a rare and valuable skill. Many of us fall into the trap of letting our minds wander during conversations, missing out on important information and failing to make genuine connections. By learning to listen actively and intentionally, we can transform our relationships and become more effective communicators. The key… Läs mer om "The Assist-to-Steal ratio in conversations
Emotional intelligence is the secret sauce that allows us to navigate complex emotions, build meaningful connections, and thrive personally and professionally. While some might believe that emotional intelligence is an innate gift, the truth is that it can be cultivated and strengthened through the power of language. When used consistently and authentically, certain phrases can… Läs mer om "8 phrases to show empathy and strengthen your relationships
A simple yet powerful framework can help us navigate conversations with greater skill and care. By applying the 4-Way Test to our interactions, we can cultivate more meaningful connections, build trust, and achieve better outcomes in both personal and professional spheres. The 4-Way Test, originally developed by Herbert J. Taylor to guide ethical decision-making in… Läs mer om "The 4-way test for better communication
