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Understanding our Emotions

Understanding your emotions

It’s a typical day at the office, and you’re having a heated discussion with a colleague. Suddenly, your face flushes, your heart rate quickens, and you feel an overwhelming urge to lash out in anger. In that moment, you realize how much your emotions influence your behaviour and decision-making.

Emotions drive our thoughts, decisions, and relationships, yet many struggle to understand and interpret them effectively. By learning to recognize and manage our emotions, we can develop emotional intelligence—a critical skill that can improve our relationships, increase our well-being and enhance our overall quality of life. Learn more about the science behind how emotions are born, get practical strategies for managing your emotions, and reveal the benefits of cultivating a rich emotional vocabulary.

Emotions as interpretations

One key aspect of understanding emotions is recognizing that they are not simply preexisting states we passively experience. Instead, emotions are interpretations of our physiological reactions and the situations we find ourselves in. When we encounter a stimulus, our body responds with various sensations, such as increased heart rate, sweating, or muscle tension. Our brain then interprets these sensations in the context of our environment, past experiences and current thoughts, leading to the emergence of a specific emotion.

When looking down from the diving platform, a person afraid of heights, experiencing sweaty palms and a racing heart, will likely interpret these sensations as fear. A sports diver, however, might experience the same physical reactions but interpret them as anticipation and excitement. The same physical reaction, different interpretations.

The next time you experience a strong emotion, take a moment to notice the physical sensations in your body. Write down these sensations and the context in which they occurred. Reflect on how your brain interpreted these sensations to create the specific emotion you felt.

Interoception

Interoception, the ability to feel and understand what your body tells you, plays a significant role in understanding your emotions. By becoming more attuned to your bodily sensations, you can gain valuable insights into your emotional states. Research has shown that emotions strongly influence our decision-making through “somatic markers”—feelings in our body associated with specific emotions that guide our actions.

A person with good interoception skills notices a tightness in their chest and realizes they are anxious about an upcoming presentation. A person with poor interoception struggles to identify their emotions, leading to difficulty in making decisions or understanding their own needs.

How to manage your emotions

While we cannot completely control the emotions we experience, we can learn to regulate them effectively. Emotional regulation involves gaining insight into our emotions and developing strategies to manage them in healthy ways. This process starts with curiosity and self-reflection, allowing ourselves to explore the root causes of our feelings without judgment.

A person who feels overwhelmed by stress can take a few deep breaths and practice mindfulness to regain a sense of calm. A person who struggles with anger management can learn to recognize their triggers and use cognitive restructuring to reframe their thoughts in a more balanced way.

Keep an emotion journal for a week. Write down the emotions you experienced each day and the situations that triggered them. Reflect on any patterns you notice and brainstorm strategies for regulating your emotions in challenging situations.

Some effective strategies for regulating emotions include mindfulness, self-compassion and cognitive restructuring:

  • Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without getting caught up in our thoughts or reactions.
  • Autocompaixão entails treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, even when experiencing difficult emotions.
  • Cognitive restructuring involves identifying and challenging unhelpful thought patterns contributing to negative emotions.

You can practice mindfulness by focusing on your breath during stressful meetings, allowing you to stay grounded and present. Individuals who struggle with self-criticism can learn to speak to themselves with the same kindness and understanding they would offer a friend.

Choose one emotional regulation strategy (mindfulness, self-compassion or cognitive restructuring) and commit to practising it daily for a week. Keep a log of your experiences and any improvements in your emotional well-being.

Emotional Granularity

Emotional granularity refers to the degree of specificity and precision with which you can identify and describe your emotional experiences. People with high emotional granularity are able to make fine-grained distinctions between similar emotions and label their feelings with accuracy and detail.

Key aspects of emotional granularity include:

  • Emotion differentiation: The ability to distinguish between closely related emotional states, such as feeling annoyed, frustrated, or angry.
  • Emotional vocabulary: Having a rich and varied vocabulary to describe emotional experiences precisely, rather than relying on broad, generic terms like “good” or “bad.”
  • Awareness of emotional nuances: Recognizing that emotions can be complex and multifaceted, often involving a mix of different feelings rather than a single, clear-cut emotion.
  • Contextual understanding: Comprehending how emotions are influenced by the context in which they occur, such as the triggering event, personal history, and cultural background.

Research suggests that individuals with higher emotional granularity tend to have better emotion regulation skills, as they can more accurately identify and address specific emotional needs. They may also be more resilient in the face of stress and have better mental health outcomes.

Expand your emotional vocabulary by learning new emotion words each week. Create a list of emotions and practice using them to describe your experiences more precisely. Reflect on how this increased granularity helps you better understand and cope with your feelings.

Having a diverse emotional vocabulary allows us to communicate our feelings more effectively to ourselves and others. It enables us to identify our experiences’ nuances and respond more adaptively. By embracing the full spectrum of emotions, we can cultivate a more balanced and resilient approach to life’s challenges.

A person with a rich emotional vocabulary can express their feelings clearly during a conflict, leading to better understanding and resolution. Embracing the full range of emotions makes you better equipped to navigate life’s ups and downs, finding meaning and growth in both positive and negative experiences.

Practice expressing your emotions using “I” statements, such as “I feel frustrated when…” or “I am grateful for…” Share your feelings with others and encourage them to do the same, fostering open and honest communication.

Understanding your emotions is a complex and ongoing process that requires self-reflection, curiosity, and a willingness to engage with your inner experiences. You gain greater insight into yourself and others by recognizing emotions as interpretations, developing effective regulation strategies, and cultivating emotional granularity. This emotional intelligence not only contributes to your personal growth and well-being but also enhances your ability to navigate social interactions and build meaningful relationships.

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