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Motivated by the desire to avoid pain

People are more motivated by the desire to avoid pain than to gain pleasure.

Tony Robbins

Om forfatteren

Tony Robbins rose from humble beginnings to become one of the world’s top life coaches and motivational speakers. Born in 1960 in North Hollywood, California, Robbins grew up in a financially unstable household. His mother married multiple times, which led to a tumultuous childhood.

At just 17, Robbins left home and began working as a janitor. His big break came when he started promoting seminars for Jim Rohn, a motivational speaker who greatly influenced his thinking. By his early twenties, Robbins launched his own seminars and quickly built a reputation for his high-energy presentations and practical advice.

Robbins gained widespread recognition through his books, including Unlimited Power (1986) and Awaken the Giant Within (1991). These works established him as a leading authority on personal growth. The quote about motivation and pain avoidance appears in his book “Awaken the Giant Within,” where he discusses the psychology behind human behavior and decision-making.

The meaning of the quote

When we look at why people act as they do, we find that avoiding bad feelings works better than chasing good ones. People work harder to prevent loss than to gain something new.

Think about how you behave when facing a deadline at work. The fear of disappointing your boss or missing the deadline often pushes you to finish tasks more than the reward of praise for good work. This natural tendency shapes many of our choices without us even noticing.

We see this truth everywhere. Students often study harder to avoid failing a test than to get an A. Investors worry more about losing money than missing chances to make more. And in relationships, many people work harder to fix problems than to build on what already works well.

Understanding this pattern offers practical benefits for personal growth:

  1. Notice when fear drives your actions. Ask yourself if you make choices to avoid bad outcomes or to create good ones. This awareness alone can change how you approach goals.
  2. Use this knowledge when setting goals. Link your aims to both avoiding pain AND gaining good things. For example, saving money helps you avoid debt stress AND lets you buy things you want later.
  3. Remember that while avoiding pain works as a short-term push, seeking positive outcomes leads to lasting change. Running away from problems might start your journey, but running toward something better keeps you going.

A friend who smoked for twenty years tried quitting many times. Fear of cancer worried him, but only when his daughter asked him to quit so he could see her graduate did he finally stop for good. The mix of avoiding pain (early death) and seeking joy (seeing his daughter’s future) created the perfect motivation.

When we understand that people run from pain faster than they run toward pleasure, we gain a tool for self-motivation and helping others change. By connecting both kinds of motivation, we can make lasting improvements in our lives.

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