When conversing with others, especially when discussing problems or differing opinions, it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to prove your point. However, this approach can lead to a breakdown in communication and understanding. Instead, try using the pleasing, not proving hack, which focuses on discovering and appreciating the other person’s perspective.
Imagine you’re discussing a controversial political issue with a family member. Rather than immediately countering their arguments with your own, take a moment to listen and understand their viewpoint.
Start by expressing genuine interest in their perspective: “I’m curious to hear more about why you feel that way. Can you share your thoughts with me?” This approach shows that you value their opinion and are open to learning from them.
As they share their views, resist the urge to interrupt or formulate your response. Instead, practice active listening by giving them your full attention and using nonverbal cues like nodding and maintaining eye contact to show that you’re engaged.
When they’ve finished speaking, summarize their main points to ensure you’ve understood them correctly: “So, if I understand you correctly, you believe that this policy will have a negative impact on our community because…” This demonstrates that you’ve been listening carefully and helps prevent misunderstandings.
If you disagree, express it respectfully while acknowledging their perspective: “I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. I have a slightly different view on this issue, but I can see where you’re coming from.” This approach validates their opinion while still allowing you to express your own.
Key sentences to use when applying the pleasing, not proving hack:
Focusing on pleasing, not proving, creates a safe space for open dialogue and mutual understanding. This approach fosters deeper connections and allows both parties to learn from each other, even with differing opinions.
Remember, the goal of pleasing, not proving, isn’t to change the other person’s mind or to avoid disagreements altogether. Instead, it’s about prioritizing understanding and respect, even facing differing viewpoints.
Key Takeaways
Employing the pleasing, not proving hack and using the key sentences provided can foster more meaningful and productive conversations, even when discussing complex or sensitive issues.
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