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Email self-coaching for growth and change

Email Self-Coaching for growth and change

Imagine having a personal coach on call 24/7, totally free. No scheduling hassles and expensive hourly rates, just customized guidance whenever you need it. Sound too good to be true? The power is literally at your fingertips. Open a blank email and get ready to become your own best coach.

Your inner coach through email journaling

The practice of coaching yourself through writing is grounded in proven psychological principles. Expressive journaling has long been recognized as a powerful tool for increasing self-awareness, processing emotions and facilitating change. When structured into an email format, this transformative practice gains even more potency:

  • Emotional distance
    By creating space between your experiences and reflection on them, sending emails to yourself enables you to view situations more objectively and avoid reactive decision-making.
  • Increased accountability
    Self-addressed emails are tangible commitments to your growth and goals, motivating you to follow through on your action plans.
  • Pattern identification
    Over time, your collection of self-coaching emails creates a rich data set you can mine for insights into your cognitive and behavioural tendencies.

The benefits of email self-coaching

Integrating this powerful practice into your life can yield profound benefits across multiple dimensions:

  • Clarity and focus: Regularly articulating your challenges, aspirations and progress through writing creates a clear roadmap for your growth journey.
  • Enhanced self-awareness: Seeing your thought patterns and blindspots reflected back to you in your emails cultivates deeper self-knowledge and emotional intelligence.
  • Improved problem-solving: Coaching yourself through difficulties in writing trains you to approach challenges more strategically and proactively.
  • Greater accountability: Making commitments to yourself in writing and tracking your follow-through builds self-trust and strengthens your integrity.
  • Accelerated growth: The consistent focus and guidance provided by self-coaching can significantly speed your progress toward your goals.

Getting started with email self-coaching

Implementing email self-coaching practice is simple. Cut through your mental clutter and coach yourself by having an email conversation with yourself. This technique forces you to step back and view your situation objectively. Here’s how it works:

  1. Deconstruct your fears and limiting beliefs. Write an email to yourself and explain exactly what you’re struggling with. Articulate the specific thoughts and stories causing you stress or self-doubt.
  2. Shine a light on the roots of the issue. Shift to the coach role and reply to your email from the perspective of an objective, caring coach. Ask probing questions to challenge your assumptions. Remind yourself of the bigger picture and your proven ability to overcome obstacles.
  3. Keep the conversation going as needed. If helpful, continue the back-and-forth, digging deeper into the issue. Approach it like you’re coaching a close friend through the same challenge. Be compassionate but also direct in your advice.

This simple self-coaching method is so effective because it creates psychological distance. Separating your internal voices into two different “people” in a concrete conversation makes it easier to detach from the emotional turbulence and see things clearly.

Some helpful prompts to use in your self-coaching emails:

  • What am I really afraid of here? Is it grounded in reality?
  • Why is this challenge meaningful to me? What does it say about my values?
  • When have I overcome something similar in the past? What did I tell myself then?
  • If a friend approached me with this issue, what would I tell them?
  • What’s the worst that could happen? The best? The most likely?
  • How will I feel when I’m on the other side of this looking back?

Separating your conflicting internal dialogues makes it easier to rise above the mental chatter and reconnect with your inner wisdom. You already know the answers. Self-coaching via email simply helps you hear them.

Some helpful email self-coaching frameworks:

  1. Conduct a SWOT analysis: Gain clarity on your current Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats/Challenges through honest self-assessment.
  2. Set SMART goals: Articulate Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-Bound objectives to guide your growth.
  3. Identify growth areas: Determine 3-5 key skills or qualities you want to focus on cultivating in alignment with your goals and values. Discuss and track your progress by sending emails to yourself.

Example of a self-coaching email thread

Here’s an example of a self-coaching email thread with three exchanges:

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Feeling stuck and unsure about my career path

I’ve been in my current marketing role for 3 years now and while I’m doing well, I can’t shake this feeling that it’s not what I really want long-term. I’m not even sure what I do want though. I have some vague ideas but nothing concrete.

I’m scared that if I don’t figure this out soon, I’ll wake up in 10 years still stuck and unfulfilled. But I also worry about making any big changes. What if I choose the wrong path? What if I fail at something new? Shouldn’t I just be grateful for the stable job I have?

I know I’m overthinking this, but I don’t know how to move forward. I feel paralyzed by indecision and lack of clarity. How do I get unstuck?

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Feeling stuck and unsure about my career path

First, take a deep breath. It’s completely normal to have doubts and confusion about your long-term career path. Most people go through periods of questioning and exploring. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you or your current situation.

  1. What parts of your current role do you enjoy most? What fires you up or gets you in flow?
  2. When you say you have vague ideas about what you want, what are those? Write down anything that comes to mind, even if it seems unrealistic. Let yourself dream a bit.
  3. What’s the worst case scenario if you make a change and it doesn’t work out? Fear is normal but don’t let it paralyze you.
  4. What’s the best case scenario if you make a change? Focus on what you have to gain, not lose.
  5. What’s one tiny step you could take this week to explore other paths? Could you reach out to someone in a field you’re curious about for an informational interview?

You don’t have to have it all figured out today. Just start the exploration process. Trust that by taking small consistent steps forward, your path will become more clear over time. You’ve got this!

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Feeling stuck and unsure about my career path

Thank you, this helps a lot. You’re right, I need to stop pressuring myself to have it all figured out at once. I can start small and see what resonates.

  1. I love the creative parts of my job – coming up with campaign ideas, writing copy, etc. I don’t enjoy the tedious technical/admin side as much.
  2. Some ideas that excite me are being a full-time writer, working for an innovative startup, doing something related to wellness/psychology. I also love to travel and would be thrilled to have a more location-independent career.
  3. Worst case, I try something new and it’s harder than I expected or doesn’t work out. But I learn a lot in the process and can likely pivot back to marketing if needed. I have solid skills to fall back on.
  4. Best case, I find work that is deeply fulfilling, lets me use my strengths, aligns with my values, and maybe even allows me to travel more. I wake up excited on Monday mornings.
  5. This week I can research companies in my space and see if any roles look interesting. I can also outline some ideas for personal essays I could write and pitch to publications. Even if nothing comes of it right away, it will get the ball rolling.

You’ve given me a lot to think about and some clear next steps to take. I feel lighter already. Time to get curious, trust myself, and see where this goes. Thank you for helping me get out of my own way!

Tips for your email self-coaching practice

  1. Experiment with email formats and structures to find what works best for your reflection style. Some prefer bullet points and short insights, while others benefit from long-form emotional processing. Adapt the templates to suit your needs.
  2. Use descriptive subject lines to help you quickly scan your coaching emails. Include the date, topic, and any relevant emotion or progress cues. For example: “7/1/23 – Career Reflection” or “10/15/23 – Health Check-In”.
  3. Don’t just focus on problems and challenges in your emails. Be sure to celebrate your wins and insights too! Regularly highlighting what’s going well will boost your motivation and give you a more balanced perspective on your growth.
  4. While daily check-ins are a great starting point, you might find that a mid-week and weekend reflection cadence works better for your schedule. Some prefer morning emails; others benefit from evening reflections to process their experiences. Find your own best practices!
  5. Protect your email coaching time like any other important meeting. Block off dedicated space in your calendar for focused reflection. Treat your self-coaching sessions as sacred appointments with yourself.
  6. Don’t forget to periodically review your entire coaching email history to mine for patterns, progress, and insights. Set quarterly or yearly reminders to read back through your messages and harvest the wisdom of your growth journey.

Use AI when your stuck

Don’t hesitate to bring in AI chatbots when you feel stuck or need an outside perspective. AI chatbots can serve as thought partners to help you gain clarity, generate new insights, or brainstorm solutions. Copy/paste the email content/thread into your chat interface and ask for clarification, help and support. Here are some examples:

  • “I’ve been struggling to stick with my new meditation habit. Based on my reflections below, what strategies would you suggest to build consistency?”
  • “I’m feeling stuck in analysis paralysis around this big career decision. How can I gain more clarity and confidence in my choice?” See my thoughts below.
  • “I keep procrastinating on this challenging project. What insights can you share based on my below reflections about my tendencies and motivations?”

Looping in AI support can enrich your self-coaching practice with novel perspectives and evidence-based strategies. Think of the AI chatbot as an on-demand thought partner to help expand your thinking and keep you moving forward.

Conclusión

Self-coaching via email may seem strange at first. You might feel silly typing out your deepest fears and dreams. You might cringe at your attempts to be your own cheerleader. That’s okay. Embrace the awkwardness and keep going.

No one knows you better than you know yourself. No one else has lived through your specific experiences, struggles and successes.

Coaching yourself through this process affirms your inner wisdom. Every email brings greater self-understanding. Every reply makes you stronger.

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