Who calls without texting first? What emergency prompted this? My mind raced through worst-case scenarios as I answered with a tentative “Hello?” To my surprise, my old friend Jake, simply wanted to hear how I was doing.
That spontaneous five-minute call left me strangely energized. I realized how rare voice connection had become in my life. I’ve relegated most friendships to text messages and occasional likes on social media. When I mentioned this to Jake, he told me he’d started scheduling brief, 8-minute calls with people he cared about.
The idea struck me as both radical and obvious. We schedule meetings, workouts and doctor appointments. Why not friendship? And why not in a format that respects everyone’s limited time while still providing genuine connection?
I’ve since made seven of these 8-minute calls. Each one ended with the same realization: we waste years waiting for the perfect time to connect when all we need is eight minutes.
There is an entire section in the bookshop called self-help, but what we really need is a section called Help Others.
Simon Sinek
Phone calls for deeper connections
When was the last time you called a friend just to talk? Not to make plans or solve a problem, but just to connect?
Meaningful connections often take a back seat to packed schedules and endless to-do lists. We tell ourselves we’ll catch up with old friends “when things calm down,” but that mythical free time rarely materializes.
This is where the 8-minute phone call comes in.
Why 8 minutes works magic
The beauty of an 8-minute call lies in its simplicity and clear boundaries. It’s short enough to fit into even the busiest day, yet long enough to create genuine connection.
8 minutes is about the time it takes to:
You already spend this time somewhere in your day. Why not use it to brighten someone’s life – and your own?
The science behind brief connections
Research backs this up. A 2021 study found that brief phone calls made a few times weekly significantly reduced feelings of depression, loneliness and anxiety in participants.
The human voice carries emotional information that text messages simply can’t convey. Hearing someone laugh or the warmth in their voice triggers the release of oxytocin, the “bonding hormone”, which creates feelings of trust and connection.
How to make the 8-minute call work
What to talk about in 8 minutes
You’d be amazed how much ground you can cover in 8 focused minutes:
The structured time creates a surprising efficiency in conversation. Without the luxury of rambling, people tend to skip small talk and dive into what matters.
The power of regular connection
The real magic happens when 8-minute calls become regular. Weekly or bi-weekly brief calls build stronger bonds than hours-long conversations every few months.
These calls send a powerful message: “You matter enough that I’m carving out this time just for you, no matter how busy life gets.”
Who needs your 8 minutes?
Think of someone you miss. Someone whose voice would make you smile. Someone you’ve been meaning to call “when things settle down.”
Send them a text today offering 8 minutes of your undivided attention. You might be surprised how much it means to both of you.
8 minutes of real connection can show someone they’re not alone. Any time spent brightening someone’s day is time well spent.
Give 8 minutes to a loved one today. It might be the most meaningful gift you offer all week.
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