For years, I watched my friendships fade one by one. Not because I stopped caring, but because coordinating calendars became impossible. Life got in the way with work, family and a thousand competing priorities.
Most productivity advice overlooks this crucial aspect of our lives.
Our social connections need maintenance just like everything else.
Life gets less social by default. It’s not because we stop caring about people. It’s because maintaining relationships requires work, time and our attention. With careers, families, and endless responsibilities competing for our limited energy, friendships often get the leftover scraps of our attention.
I tried scheduling one-off dinners and coffee dates, but the effort of coordinating multiple busy calendars left me exhausted before we even met.
Then a friend invited me to her “Thursday Night Thing,” a simple gathering that took place every week without fail. No fancy invites. No complicated planning. Just show up if you can.
After months of attending, I noticed something profound: these casual, routine hangouts had become more meaningful than my carefully planned outings. The consistency created depth that occasional hangouts never could.
I realised then that our most valuable relationships don’t need perfect plans. What they need is regular maintenance.
Regular Social Meetups
Want better friendships without the stress? Start a standing order social event.
A standing order social event happens on the same day, at the same time, in the same place every week or every other week. You plan it once, then just show up regularly.
What makes these events work?
My weekly Sunday brunch changed everything. No RSVPs needed. No pressure. Friends knew when and where it happened, and whoever could join did. It took almost no effort to organise, yet it created a wonderful rhythm and connection in my week.
These regular gatherings end the cycle of “let’s catch up soon” texts that go nowhere. They stop the scheduling headaches. They create consistent, low-pressure hangouts that make life feel richer.
Social connection becomes automatic rather than something that demands willpower or coordination. You stay connected without trying.
Normal social plans require decisions, coordination and effort. This makes them easy to postpone. But when something already exists on your calendar, that friction disappears.
Why they work so well
The real power of standing order events is how they remove mental work. You don’t need to think, plan, or negotiate. You simply show up.
Because these events happen regularly, the stakes stay low. If someone misses one gathering, they can join next week without guilt or awkwardness. This removes pressure from everyone involved.
How to start your own
If you feel disconnected from friends, try this simple challenge:
Set up one standing order social event this week.
Some ideas that work well:
Your event doesn’t need to be fancy or large. It just needs to happen consistently. Choose something that feels easy and enjoyable for you. Set it up, tell a few friends about it, and keep showing up each time.
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You’ll be surprised how quickly this becomes a highlight of your week. Put it in your calendar to make sure it stays top of mind.
These standing events often work best when they:
Real benefits
People who maintain standing order social events report:
The structure creates freedom. By removing the need to constantly plan, you create space for genuine connection.
Try it for a few months. Set one regular, repeating social event and commit to it even when attendance varies. The consistency will pay off, and soon it will feel strange not to have this regular connection in your life.
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